When I was little, in the early 1970s my Mom taught me to pray to God and Jesus before going to sleep.
Then I remember that I was left to pray by myself sometime a few years after that. I remember I did pray alone in the new home we moved to in 1975.
Then I can`t remmeber if I stopped praying when I was a kid.
Then in the 1982-1988 period I prayed one decade of the rosary with Mom, usually around 10:40 p.m. when The Journal was on CBC tv. That annoyed me because sometimes I really wanted to watch that segment of the show. I also attended St Jean Brebeuf Church and sang in the Choir in the Winter months and St. Iggys in the Summer.
When I moved out on my own in 1989 I stopped praying at home on my own, but I did still go to church every Sunday at St. Ignatius.
Sometime in 1990é91 I stopped going to Church but I started going again in 1992é93... I remember reading the Bible at home the Old Testament beginning 4 books.
Then I stopped sometime in the late 1990s.
Then I started going again and by 2000 stopped going but went again in early 2006 when I got Diabetes.
I really believe that my life troubles are because of a lack of prayer and a lack of going to church regularly.... We are most blessed and prosperous if we PRAY.... It`s there in the Bible that if we do so we are good, but if we STOP praying then we are considered `wicked`by God because evil can enter our lives.
I am slowly finding my way back to God and Jesus but I don`t know how much back I can get...all I can do is to say Ì`m sorry God for sinning against you` ... I`m sorry Jesus for sinning against you...
Lots of times in the past few years I have felt like I don`t want to live anymore, but I believe that thought comes from demons who want to see Humans destroyed. So now that I realize all that I want to be counted as a child of God.
I know that God forgives us, and I hope that He can help me find my way back to some sense of normalcy and growth.
1.13.2013
2012
I haven`t written anything since Spring 2012...too busy with `stuff`.
In May 2012 I had to move out my apt. block at 59 Donald where I had lived since 2004.
The previous year 2011 I had lost my job at Agriculture & Agri-Food Canada - FIPD - Agristability program...they laid off 150 of us. Since that time more will be laid off in the coming year...In the 2012 budget the Federal gov`t announced they were going to layoff 19,000 people in the next 3 years. So I`m not the only one going thru this... But if I had made choices a bit differently I might have still worked there or had better references to another job.
It has been 3 years since my Mom passed away. When she first passed I didn`t have feelings of loss that I missed her. But this past Christmas all those feelings came to me. I guess it was because I had lost so much in 2012...
Since that time I moved 3 or 4 places, and now am living in River Heights at a friend`s home. Most of my belongings are at a storage place.
I haven`t found work, but I have started to volunteer (doing data entry) at a non-profit organization.
May 2012 - Had to move out of apt. because they were renovating the block.
June 2012 - Was searching for another home.
July 2012 - Moved to a rental home on Jessie Avenue.
October 2012 - Took my two cats Tiger and Herbie to the Humane Society to be euthanizaed. While my family and friends were pressuring me to `get rid of your cats` that didn`t necessarily mean putting them down to death.
November 2012 - Moved to my school mate friend`s home in River Heights.
I have successfully retrieved my DVDs, CDs, RCA CED`s. Most of my books are still in storage.
While at that home on Jessie Avenue I did get motivated a bit more to cook for myself and did learn how to cook a chicken breast.
While I have been saying in the past few years that I would like to have a roommate so that we can maintain the place together, it doesn`t really work that way. ... The home on Jessie Avenue wasn`t really maintained except for by me and one of the other tenants.
I really miss the apt. I lived at in the 1990s and early 2000s...87 Smith St...despite it being just a large bachelor suite....It had radiator heat which kept the space really warm.
The place at 59 Donald St I liked but I was already getting physically sick by the time I had moved there, and so I had a difficult time with energy to keep it clean. What really happened was that had been drinking distilled water which doesn`t have Magnesium required for muscle strength...so over the years my muscles felt really weak. Fixed that by switching to spring water. If I were still working I would have bought a water fountain machine and purchased the water from a local company.
While having a roommate is fine, I no longer have any cats to keep me company. For example when I`d come back from somewhere the cats would always be waiting to greet me at the door. ... Now when I come back, my friend is usually gone to work or is sleeping.
I really made a mess of my life in the past few years, and I believe what happened was that I stopped praying and stopped going to church. Then while I would still get blessed in life by syncchronicities and such, everything eventually caught up to me in 2011 and 2012.
I have returned to attending church again and pray one decade of the rosary every day.
But still ... I am left with the consequences of MY actions in the workplace and at my parent`s home.... I believe that if I had prayed and had gone to church and not fallen away that I would have had a better work and apartment reference to continue to be prosperous... And maybe Mom would have been alive still (she died of LiverGallbladder cancer) to see her grandkids grow up.
I guess I was really satisfied with all that I had built up...the books, the electronic home theatre system, the clothing, the cats, the papers, the dvds, cds, and ced`s... I had started to take it all for granted and say to God `thank you for all that you had given me`.
For example, two things happened in July 2007 that were `divine`...
One - One Saturday I had an urge to visit the flea market on Ellice Avenue...so I did and lo and behold I found this RCA SGT 200 Stereo CED player with a few videodiscs... for $75.
Two - Had planned to go to Minneapolis MN with my sister Pat but a bridge had collapsed. So we chose to go to Chicago instead.... Lo and behold my transit friend Dallas Hansen had just moved to Chicago at the beginnning of July and was going to stay there for a bit...So if we chose to go to Chicago then we`d have someone that we know show us around so we wouldn`t be there alone...
THANK YOU GOD THE FATHER FOR FINDING ME THAT RCA CED VIDEODISC PLAYER...AND THANK YOU GOD FOR ARRANGING FOR DALLAS TO BE IN CHICAGO AT THE TIME WE WERE PLANNING A TRIP! AND THANK YOU GOD THE FATHER FOR KEEPING PAT AND I SAFE FROM THAT THUNDERSTORM WHEN WE WERE ON THE INTERCITY BUS THAT DAY IN AUGUST 2007. AMEN, ALLELUIA. PRAISE GOD, THANK YOU GOD, PRAISE YOU JESUS, THANK YOU JESUS.
Now I pray that God keeps me safe on the path for me and that I be kept healthy and my finances improve and that I find paid work that will pay my expenses. I also pray that I will find another apt. or home or whatever God has in His plan for me. I`d really like to keep my laptop with all the stuff and the CDs and other stuff. I pray that God help in my situation that my belongings will be returned to me for my use again.
In May 2012 I had to move out my apt. block at 59 Donald where I had lived since 2004.
The previous year 2011 I had lost my job at Agriculture & Agri-Food Canada - FIPD - Agristability program...they laid off 150 of us. Since that time more will be laid off in the coming year...In the 2012 budget the Federal gov`t announced they were going to layoff 19,000 people in the next 3 years. So I`m not the only one going thru this... But if I had made choices a bit differently I might have still worked there or had better references to another job.
It has been 3 years since my Mom passed away. When she first passed I didn`t have feelings of loss that I missed her. But this past Christmas all those feelings came to me. I guess it was because I had lost so much in 2012...
Since that time I moved 3 or 4 places, and now am living in River Heights at a friend`s home. Most of my belongings are at a storage place.
I haven`t found work, but I have started to volunteer (doing data entry) at a non-profit organization.
May 2012 - Had to move out of apt. because they were renovating the block.
June 2012 - Was searching for another home.
July 2012 - Moved to a rental home on Jessie Avenue.
October 2012 - Took my two cats Tiger and Herbie to the Humane Society to be euthanizaed. While my family and friends were pressuring me to `get rid of your cats` that didn`t necessarily mean putting them down to death.
November 2012 - Moved to my school mate friend`s home in River Heights.
I have successfully retrieved my DVDs, CDs, RCA CED`s. Most of my books are still in storage.
While at that home on Jessie Avenue I did get motivated a bit more to cook for myself and did learn how to cook a chicken breast.
While I have been saying in the past few years that I would like to have a roommate so that we can maintain the place together, it doesn`t really work that way. ... The home on Jessie Avenue wasn`t really maintained except for by me and one of the other tenants.
I really miss the apt. I lived at in the 1990s and early 2000s...87 Smith St...despite it being just a large bachelor suite....It had radiator heat which kept the space really warm.
The place at 59 Donald St I liked but I was already getting physically sick by the time I had moved there, and so I had a difficult time with energy to keep it clean. What really happened was that had been drinking distilled water which doesn`t have Magnesium required for muscle strength...so over the years my muscles felt really weak. Fixed that by switching to spring water. If I were still working I would have bought a water fountain machine and purchased the water from a local company.
While having a roommate is fine, I no longer have any cats to keep me company. For example when I`d come back from somewhere the cats would always be waiting to greet me at the door. ... Now when I come back, my friend is usually gone to work or is sleeping.
I really made a mess of my life in the past few years, and I believe what happened was that I stopped praying and stopped going to church. Then while I would still get blessed in life by syncchronicities and such, everything eventually caught up to me in 2011 and 2012.
I have returned to attending church again and pray one decade of the rosary every day.
But still ... I am left with the consequences of MY actions in the workplace and at my parent`s home.... I believe that if I had prayed and had gone to church and not fallen away that I would have had a better work and apartment reference to continue to be prosperous... And maybe Mom would have been alive still (she died of LiverGallbladder cancer) to see her grandkids grow up.
I guess I was really satisfied with all that I had built up...the books, the electronic home theatre system, the clothing, the cats, the papers, the dvds, cds, and ced`s... I had started to take it all for granted and say to God `thank you for all that you had given me`.
For example, two things happened in July 2007 that were `divine`...
One - One Saturday I had an urge to visit the flea market on Ellice Avenue...so I did and lo and behold I found this RCA SGT 200 Stereo CED player with a few videodiscs... for $75.
Two - Had planned to go to Minneapolis MN with my sister Pat but a bridge had collapsed. So we chose to go to Chicago instead.... Lo and behold my transit friend Dallas Hansen had just moved to Chicago at the beginnning of July and was going to stay there for a bit...So if we chose to go to Chicago then we`d have someone that we know show us around so we wouldn`t be there alone...
THANK YOU GOD THE FATHER FOR FINDING ME THAT RCA CED VIDEODISC PLAYER...AND THANK YOU GOD FOR ARRANGING FOR DALLAS TO BE IN CHICAGO AT THE TIME WE WERE PLANNING A TRIP! AND THANK YOU GOD THE FATHER FOR KEEPING PAT AND I SAFE FROM THAT THUNDERSTORM WHEN WE WERE ON THE INTERCITY BUS THAT DAY IN AUGUST 2007. AMEN, ALLELUIA. PRAISE GOD, THANK YOU GOD, PRAISE YOU JESUS, THANK YOU JESUS.
Now I pray that God keeps me safe on the path for me and that I be kept healthy and my finances improve and that I find paid work that will pay my expenses. I also pray that I will find another apt. or home or whatever God has in His plan for me. I`d really like to keep my laptop with all the stuff and the CDs and other stuff. I pray that God help in my situation that my belongings will be returned to me for my use again.
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